Dear Allie,
It's been awhile.... You probably don't even remember me. Your terrible sister lost me and left me in a dirty bag for months until she found me the other day.... That meanie. I cant stand her right now, but am forced to stare at her all day because she says that I "make her laugh"..... I can't help the way I look you know.... If you're mother did drugs everyday you were in her tummy you might look a little weird too. So please tell your sister to start being nicer to me and stop laughing at me... Or I will have to come live with you..... Tears.... Sniffle.
Your friend,
Fred
"Fred"** A day later, Fred heard back from Ernest**
Dear Fred,
It has been a while. I sympathize with your feelings towards Whit. I was a happy little whatever-it-is-I-am just hanging around the apartment in Solna, then one day everything changed. They packed me in a box and the next thing I knew I was in a closet. If it wasn't for your email to Allie she might never have remembered to get me out of there. You know, she laughs at me too. I can't help the way I look any more than you can. It's just rude. Umm, by the way, you probably could use some Visine...your eyeball looks a little dusty.
Your friend,
Ernest
"Earnest"
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